There’s no point denying it, Australia has the best slang in the game. We have ambo, dollarydoos, and brekkie. We have beaut, sammies, and iso, just to name a few more. From where I’m standing, no one can add an “ie” or an “o” sound to the end of a word like we can.
However, just because we have some A+ slang, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t increase our arsenal. There’s plenty of excellent slang from across the globe that is ready and ripe for the picking.
So, with this in mind, here’s a list of some international slang that we should import. It’s time to beef up our knowledge.
Trollied
Trollied: A British adjective for being extremely intoxicated.
Texting a mate, “Help, I’m drunk,” leaves too much up in the air. Are you on the bathroom floor trying not to vom? Are you just lonely and don’t want to be left alone with your thoughts? Seriously, that text isn’t all that descriptive.
However, texting a mate, “Help, I’m trollied” is perfect. It implies that you’re up, but swooning around, like you have one broken wheel. It implies that you’re a bit slow, but the situation isn’t an emergency. It implies that while you might be a tad uncomfortable, you might also still be capable of having fun.
Therefore, Aussies should embrace the word “trollied.” I expect it to be featured in all the major papers by next Monday.
Bach
Bach: A New Zealand noun for a small house or a holiday home.
Saying that you live in a small house is a move of weakness. It evokes a feeling of claustrophobia and reminds folks of population density issues.
Likewise, saying that you’re going to your holiday home makes you have the vibe of a trillionaire. Seriously, who can afford a holiday home in this climate?
Yet, saying you live in a bach or going to your bach, well, that’s just adorable. It’s a cute and cosy word. It indicates that you live a chill and cheeky life, that you’re happy with the size of your home.
From now on, don’t refer to my small Sydney unit as a home. Please refer to it by its name: The Bach.
Pure Dead Brilliant
Pure dead brilliant: A Scottish phrase that means that something is perfect or the best.
Now, calling something perfect is fine. What’s more, calling something the best is also fine.
However, calling something pure dead brilliant? Well, that’s just pure dead brilliant.
Rink Rat
Rink rat: A Canadian noun for someone who spends a lot of time at an ice-hockey rink.
In Australia, there are not a lot of opportunities to use the phrase rink rat. However, this slang is so descriptive, so savage, so plump, how can it not be on this list? Trust me, if you ever get to use this phrase in an organic way, the sentence you spin will taste so hecking scrumptious and sweet.
Banjaxed
Banjaxed: An Irish adjective for something that’s ruined, incapacitated, or broken.
Scenario One
It’s a Friday night, as you turtle into your living room. Your lover is on the couch watching Friends for the 700th time. You cough, make yourself known, and then solemnly say, “Hey, I’m sorry, but I just dropped your grandfather’s urn on the floor.”
Your partner is distraught. You break up a week later. You are never loved again.
Scenario Two
It’s a Friday night, as you turtle into your living room. Your lover is on the couch watching Friends for the 700th time. You cough, make yourself known, and then declare, “My love, I’m sorry, but I just banjaxed your grandfather’s urn. And I also banjaxed your car.”
Your partner laughs. They love the word banjaxed. You get married, have five children, and are in love past the day that you die.
The Banjaxed Conclusion
Before you are two pills, like in The Matrix. Now, I can’t remember what each pill symbolises, but you know what you to do. You should start using banjaxed on the daily.
Related: 5 New Public Holidays That Australia Should Embrace
Related: Five Words I Invented to Help You Survive and Thrive in 2023
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