Buckle up, kids. Ricky Gervais is back hosting the Golden Globes and just like every other time, he gives zero, well, you know…
The 58-year-old comedian took to the stage to open the 77th Annual Golden Globe Awards, and as expected, it shocked, appalled and even made the nicest guy in Hollywood squirm (that would be Tom Hanks).
Taking aim at all of Hollywood’s biggest scandals in the last year, Gervais referenced Felicity Huffman’s stint in prison, Kevin Hart being fired from the Oscars, R Kelly’s “pedophile” documentary, and Leonardo DiCaprio’s dating life — if you weren’t offended by at least something in his speech, you weren’t listening.
However, The Office actor was quick to remind the room that everything he was about to say were “just jokes”.
“We’re all going to die soon, and there’s no sequel,” he quipped.
“I mean, Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars because of some offensive tweets. Luckily, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association can hardly speak English and they have no idea what Twitter is,” Gervais said to a room full of unimpressed A-Listers, but also taking a dig at himself.
Going after Huffman and the College admissions scandal of 2019, the actor referenced the fact that everyone arrived in “fancy cars”. His car, however, had a “licence plate made by Felicity Huffman”. Ooft.
Then, there was the joke that all of the executives in the room were most “terrified” of Ronan Farrow — son of Mia Farrow and Woody Allen — who is best known for writing the 2017 articles in The New Yorker that helped uncover allegations of sexual abuse against film producer Harvey Weinstein.
“Talking to all you perverts,” he said in a segue to point out the films and television shows that were about sexual assault in 2019.
“Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere [of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood], and by the end, his date was too old for him,” he said.
“Even Prince Andrew was like, ‘Come on, mate.”
Elsewhere, Gervais pointed out that hosting and being at one of these award shows was worse than the premise of his own hit Netflix show, After Life, which is about a character that contemplates killing himself after the loss of his wife.
Spoiler alert. “He doesn’t kill himself — just like Jeffrey Epstein,” he added.
“I know he was your friend, but I don’t care!” he yelled at the audience. Oy vey!
And not care, he did.
After commenting on the recent box office numbers of Cats, he called James Corden a “fat p—y” before a completely distasteful joke about Dame Judi Dench, in which he said she enjoys “plunking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg and licking her p–sy.”
Add in a few jokes about Hollywood being “racist” and asking winners to “accept your little award and f–k off” instead of getting political, he tried to make everything OK by saying:
“It’s the last time. Who cares?”
If you ask us, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association should probably listen.
WATCH: For the full opening monologue of the 77th Annual Golden Globe Awards, check out the Tweet below.
— Alex Salvi (@alexsalvinews) January 6, 2020