It’s true that some of the ideas Gwyneth Paltrow covers on her blog, goop, and respective series are a little left of centre (vagina candle, anyone?), but we’re totally into Erotic Blueprints, covered on her latest series on Netflix, Sex, Love & goop.
What Is an Erotic Blueprint?
Erotic Blueprints were developed by award-winning somatic sexologist, Jaiya, as a way to help her clients better understand what it is that turns them on in the bedroom. Essentially, once you can identify which Erotic Blueprint you most align with, the more you can make choices in the bedroom that arouse and increase your connection and pleasure. When partners have misaligned Erotic Blueprints, there can be a disconnect between what they want — and what they get — between the sheets.
What are the Erotic Blueprints?
Jaiya developed five Erotic Blueprints based on her years of expertise in somatic (to mean: working with the body) sexology. They are:
When you love the energetic and spiritual parts of sexuality, and activities such as teasing, playing and anticipation that build upon your erotic energy turn you on.
When you want all five senses ignited. Playing with taste (think whipped cream), touch (massage), sound (music), sight (blindfolds), and scent (gardenia) get you going.
Sexuals love sex. It’s that simple and that naked, truly. Those with Sexual Erotic Blueprints have (or want) lots of sex, love erotic visuals like nude photos or pornography, and love to self-pleasure.
If you believe that what you do between the sheets is taboo, then you might have a Kinky Erotic Blueprint. You might like bondage and rimming, or you might like doing it doggy style — as long as you believe it’s kinky, then it will turn you on.
Nodding your head and thinking, ‘that’s me!’ for all the above? You might have a Shapeshifter Erotic Blueprint.
When you know your Erotic Blueprint, you can discover other ways to turn yourself on and ask for what you want in bed, understand what could more quickly help you to reach orgasm, get insights into any sexual incompatibilities (more on that later) and understand how best to please your lover based on their Erotic Blueprint.
How Do I Know Which Erotic Blueprint I Have?
You can do Jaiya’s quiz via her website, here.
Not into the quiz modality? Which of the above do you most align with? Even if you don’t strongly agree with one of the Erotic Blueprints completely, whichever you most do, that could be you.
If you’re totally unsure, ask your partner or friend. Sometimes an outsider’s perspective can help you see yourself better than you think.
What If My Erotic Blueprint Is Different to My Partner’s?
Having a different Erotic Blueprint than your partner is not the end of the world. In fact, knowing what Erotic Blueprint you both have can help you meet in the middle and connect meaningfully.
For example, if you have a Sensual Erotic Blueprint and want to be worshipped with all senses engaged before penetration, someone who has a Sexual Erotic Blueprint may get a little frustrated with the level of foreplay that you require before you’re turned on and ready to go for it. However, discussing the fact that touch, sound and taste during foreplay really turns you on will actually turn them on, because you’re talking about the act of sex itself — and that’s sexy to a Sexual.
Our final takeaway? Whatever your Erotic Blueprint, discuss it with your partner and use it as a platform to help you align on new and fun ways to turn each other on and be erotic, together, between the sheets.
BARE Therapy specialises in helping clients with all relationships – self, intimate, work, family. Follow for tips and advice: @bare__therapy.