“A Body Corporate Smackdown” — Recapping the Second Week of ‘The Block’ as Poetry

Joel Burrows is a poet who has been published by CorditeGoing Down Swinging, and Stilts Poetry, amongst others. He’s also a huge fan of The Block. In this series, Block-erty, Joel recaps each episode of The Block’s 2023 season. Please enjoy his breakdown of The Block’s second week and wildest studio bedroom reveal.

The Block — Episode Six

On Monday night,
I came home, and found
Scotty Cam in my living room.
He was perched atop of my
Bookcase like a gargoyle.

I invited him down
And we had McCafé
Croissants for dinner.
He washed me in
Mitre 10 ads as I
Put on the newest
Episode of The Block.

In this episode, Gian and Steph
Were admonished for cheating.
For Steph’s father using an
Illicit power drill in the dead of night.

It was a McCafé execution.
A body corporate smackdown.
Scotty Cam grew stronger as Steph
Started to cry, weep, and cry.

“Dad had
No intention of
Working at all.”

“Then why did he?”

Scotty Cam then
Grinned at me.
He was now sitting
On my couch like a spider.

He asked me if
This drama made for
Good television. 

I silently nodded my head.
I wonder if he’ll live here,
For McCafé now until death.

The Block — Episode Seven

Liberty stands tall,
In the middle of a furniture store,
Waving around Chekhov’s gun.

“I’m not very good at
The whole measurement thing,
And what fits in what space.”

She then buys a
Couch before taping it.

Foreshadowing, perhaps?
Or maybe just a gaggle
Of editors, messing around.

The Block — Episode Eight

When episode eight
Of The Block aired,
I was at Homebush Stadium,
Mewling into a flat beer.

The Matildas were
Losing to England.
The dream of a country
Was kicked to death.

This is all I recall about
Episode eight of The Block.

The Block — Episode Nine

Dear Gian and Steph,
For the past two weeks,
You have been a
Sacrificial lamb to the narrative. 

Your forfeiture has
Been duly noted by all.

Your painting
Is rushed.
Your blinds are
Too small.
Your insides are
A tangle of
Cold, wet cords.

Dear Gian and Steph,
During this week,
The Block’s studio bedroom reveal,
Your house goes onto win.

“It’s not a self–contained area,”
Says the judge Shaynna,
“But I think it’s a perfect, beautiful wing.”

All of the judges clamber
Across your ceiling’s exposed beam.
Your budget wins $10,000.

Dear Gian and Steph,
You have been a sacrificial
Lamb to the narrative.
Now go enjoy this redemption arc,
For as long as you possibly can.

Good luck.

The Block drops on Sundays through to Wednesdays on Channel 9 and the 9Now app.

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