Why Spending Time Alone Is Perfect For Personal Growth

As Australia begins to ease up strict social distancing measures, households across the country are reflecting on the time they have spent in close quarters.

Those who have enjoyed living with family, flatmates and close friends, have been able to enjoy quality time with one another, and for those who have lived alone, they have been able to rest, recuperate and recover from a fast-paced world.

While it has been a time of upheaval and reconnection, some people are hoping to get some serious alone time, that being let out of isolation can bring.

And if you’re feeling a sense of guilt about it, spending time alone is actually good for the soul.

Sydney-based Life Coach, Tammi Kirkness, says that spending time alone is a “wonderful opportunity to learn to sit with ourselves” and give us the opportunity to “find out where we would like to focus our attention”.

In an interview with TheLatch—, Kirkness explains the importance of alone time.

Anita Lyons: Hi Tammi, why is it so important to feel comfortable with spend time alone?

Tammi Kirkness:  One of the tricky things about being in our own company is that it can surface aspects of our personality we feel uncomfortable with or memories we’ve suppressed. Because of this risk, it takes great courage to spend time alone. However, it is when we have self-insight that we can find more contentment and create a greater impact on our world.

AL: Why do people often find they do most of their growth during time alone?

TK: For many of us we feel safer expressing our emotions in private and so while our growth is done in a variety of scenarios, we often only recognise it later when we are alone. It is during this alone time that we have the mental and emotional space to process what we’ve learnt and experienced previously.

AL: What can we all learn from having alone time?

TK: So often I have clients come into my offices having worked diligently for something, only to get there and realise it doesn’t bring them joy. If we can spend time proactively reflecting on what does and doesn’t bring us contentment, we are in a better position to build a life that brings fulfilment.

For those wanting to deepen their solitary experience, they might like to journal their answers to these questions.

☆ Things that make me happy are…

☆ The things I need to heal in my life are…

☆ The advice I would give my teenage self would be…

AL: Why is it important to approach an anxious moment by riding the wave?

TK: It can be tempting to ignore feelings of anxiety however when we dampen one emotion, it tends to dampen them all. When we flick away our ‘negative’ feelings, it flicks away the positive ones too. So for us to have well rounded, content, authentic days, it’s important to acknowledge the worry, nerves, anxiety or any other feelings as they come up.

Tammi Kirkness is a Sydney-based Life Coach who specialises in holistic wellness and anxiety management. She can be found on Instagram at @tammikirkness and via www.visionscopecoaching.com Tammi’s first book, The Panic Button Book, will be released in September.

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