I Just Popped My Drake Cherry and Now I Have Some Serious Thoughts
Anita Anabel
Confession, I’m 33-years-old and I’ve never listened to Drake.
Perhaps on a subconscious level I still saw him as the 14-year-old who starred as basketballer Jimmy Brooks on Degrassi: The Next Generation, or maybe it’s that I’ve never really vibed with rap music — but after news broke that Drake was the most-streamed artist in the last decade on Spotify, I felt like I was missing, well, something.
They say it’s “better late than never”, and so here I am, about to listen to the Canadian-born artist for the first time (I don’t count listening to Kiki Do You Love Me) — just to see what the fuss is all about.
I asked another TheLatch— editor, Katie, to recommend the 10 songs that perhaps best summarise the artist (apparently she had conniptions choosing just 10), and now, I’m going to take you along for the journey and report my totally unfiltered thoughts.
Spoiler alert: I had many.
HYFR (Hell Ya F—ing Right) (feat. Lil Wayne)
When I had to ask my colleague who “Little Wayne” was, I knew I was off to a bad start. And then I listened to the song.
Look, I’m going to be frank with you. It was very aggressive listening for 9am — and Lil’ Wayne had so many questions.
“Do you love this s–t?” What s–t?
“Are you high right now?” Absolutely not.
“Do you ever get nervous?” Who doesn’t?
“Are you single?” Sure am…
“I heard you f—ed your girl, is it true?” …….
Verdict: Next!
Doing It Wrong
Since Drake was the most streamed artist on Spotify, I was using said service to find his songs on the list, however, was very confused when I couldn’t find Doing It Wrong.
Was it an old song? Was it not popular? Was it actually “doin” instead of “doing'”?
Spoiler Alert: I was searching for “Doin’ it Right”, and that’s a completely different song. And artist.
Once I’d found the correct song, we were on our way.
This one was a little more my speed, until it wasn’t. Because it had no speed.
About halfway through I actively stopped listening to it.
In fact, not only did I stop listening, but a new song had started playing before I even realised.
Verdict: Not my thing.
Hold On We’re Going Home (feat. Majid Jordan)
I liked this one a little better than the others and actually, I’ve definitely heard it before.
Would I turn it off? No. Would I stream it on repeat? Also no. But did I add it to my “liked” songs playlist? Yes.
Verdict: I’m warming up to him.
Take Care (feat. Rihanna)
Full disclosure. This one wasn’t on my colleague’s list. It just started playing after Hold On and I liked it so much I just kept it playing.
This one I’ve definitely heard before. Maybe Drake is more mainstream than I first thought?
Verdict: Added to Spotify “Liked” playlist
One Dance (feat. WizKid and Kyla)
I know I’m not going to make any friends with this opinion, but I’m not “in love” with this song.
You know how in 10 Things I Hate About You when Chastity says:
“I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?”
I am just “whelmed”.
Also, it reminds me of 3am in a club and I really want to go home because the drinks are wearing off and I’m old…
Verdict: Whelmed.
Teenage Fever
Side note: Is it just me or do Drake songs go on for a really long time?
This song has Jennifer Lopez’ If You Had My Love in it and I am not pleased.
I know she collaborated with him on this, however, the first rule about JLo is you don’t mess with a JLo song.
Verdict: No. Just no.
Nice For What
Ooooh I love this one.
This is like a mash-up of Monica, Brandy and Drake. I’m so into it and wished that I was given this as my last song because I feel like my whole opinion would have changed.
Nice For What is a nostalgic banger and the vibe is very 18-year-old Anita at a house party just before 50 Cent’s In Da Club starts playing.
Verdict: Into it.
Don’t Matter To Me
Oh my gosh, I was so into this song until I realised I was listening to Emotionless (that should have been on the list to be honest)…
I really should have loved this song. I know I should have — but it’s just such a “take it or leave it” type tune.
I think it’s clear I like the more poppy songs, that are a little more, well, fast paced. This one was not.
Verdict: Leave it.
Shot for me
I really love it when Drake sings. What a voice. It’s so 90s R’n’B and I loved 90’s R’n’B.
However, I think I’m just not that into rap.
It’s not him. It’s me. And I need to break up with it after this short-lived whirlwind romance.
Verdict: Skipped through to the end.
Mia (feat. Bad Bunny)
I was really into this song and a little excited to finish on it.
It’s sung in Spanish, and truly speaks to my Spanish roots.
If I didn’t like it, there would be a problem. I even found myself dancing to it at my desk.
Verdict: Added to my “liked” songs.
Conclusion
NB: This is not a song, just a summation of all of my thoughts.
Overall, I’m sorry to say, but I really can take or leave Drake. I know I’m in the minority, but adding only three of the 10 songs to my “liked” playlist, does not a fan make.
I’m open to trying some more, but as a pop lover (who just lost her mind seeing Human Nature in the flesh near the office), I don’t think I’ll ever be a die-hard Drake convert.