Building valuable, healthy relationships are central to living a positive and productive life. Bumble has helped change the way we interact, breaking down old-fashioned power dynamics and encouraging women to make the first move. Over the next month, we’re celebrating love. We’ve partnered with Bumble to highlight interesting ways to start a conversation, how to find love in the digital age, how to cultivate intimacy as we emerge from isolation and more. Alongside our helpful and inspiring content, we’ll also share stories of ‘the one that got away’ — because sometimes it’s the love before that leads you to The One.
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If there was one thing that any of my friends and family had heard me say over five years of being single, it was that I was adamant I would never find love on a dating app.
I had used dating apps over the years, but had never once thought I would actually meet anyone. But when the global pandemic showed no signs of slowing down, I offered up a story to my editor on iso-dating, tasking myself with using Bumble to see what it was like to date while in the confines of my own home.
Now, if you’ve ever seen How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, this was just like that — although, for my story, I wasn’t trying to repel anyone.
Three days in, I began talking to a guy named Michael. We’d chat quite often throughout the day, but to be honest, I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone I’d really click with, so I didn’t think much of it.
After a week or so, I began to realise that I was really enjoying speaking to this man, and in hopes that my honesty wouldn’t scare him off, I admitted to him that I had gone on to the app for a story. After asking a lot of questions, Michael felt comfortable with the idea. And then we had our first phone conversation. It went for four hours.
Three months later, we are in a fully-fledged Bumble-turned-real-life relationship. While three months is still early days, we are happy, comfortable and looking forward to a wonderful future together.
Below, Michael and I have answered some questions on how we met, how it worked during isolation, and share our secrets and tips on how to find someone on Bumble.
ANITA, 34
How long had you been on Bumble before you met?
I was only Bumble for three days before I swiped on Michael! However, it was probably the third time I had reinstalled the app after taking a few breaks.
I had been on other Bumble dates in the past that hadn’t worked out, but opted to give it one more go — and this time, I threw out all of the pressure I usually put on myself plus any expectations.
Is this your first Bumble relationship?
Sure is! Three months and going strong. Right, babe?
How did being in isolation help the relationship progress?
I’ve been joking with a lot of my friends saying that isolation was the best thing that happened to me.
A few weeks before everything shut down, Michael and I met on the app (we started working from home really early, so I was basically isolating a few weeks before more concrete measures were put in place).
After chatting for a week or two, we had a phone conversation which went for four hours. The next night, we had our first video chat which went for six.
I really think that removing the pressure of meeting him before I’d even seen him (i.e. on a video call) or having to drink alcohol to get along, or even the pressure of going home with him at the end of the night, really helped the relationship move from the first stage.
I learned he was a good listener. A big tick for me.
Also, I’m pretty sure during that first video call I wore my pyjamas (sorry, Mum!). To me, when you’re single at 33, there is no room for games. Someone was going to like me for who I was, or they weren’t the right person.
What attracted you to each other’s profiles?
I had so many rules the last time I was on the app that I think it really hindered my ability to find someone. This time around I had no rules so was willing to give anyone I liked the look of a swipe.
Michael’s profile was full of professional work shots, and one of them showed him sitting at a laptop. To be honest, I couldn’t even tell you what his profile said; I was more interested in asking him what he was pretending to type on the laptop…
How did you navigate taking the relationship offline?
We chatted for a little bit and had several video calls before meeting in person. When we finally did meet, it was at the beginning of isolation when only one person was allowed in another person’s home.
Looking back on it now, I maybe shouldn’t have let a stranger into my house like that, but I felt comfortable enough with him and felt it was the right thing to do. We’d already spent hours talking over the phone.
The first IRL meeting was the least nerve-wracking face-to-face I’ve ever had. It just felt right and completely normal, like we’d known each other for ages. And I haven’t been able to get rid of him since…
Michael is also really big on balance (which was a huge lesson for me), so we weren’t in each other’s pockets every single day. We really took the time to get to know one another.
What tips do you have for others looking for love on Bumble?
Like I said before, throw out all of your rules — however, don’t compromise on your dealbreakers.
Also, remove the expectation that you’re going to meet the love of your life straight away or that every person is going to be that person. The best thing about my relationship is that it just gets better every single day.
When it comes to your swiping tactics, cast your net a little wider than you usually would, and seriously, don’t be so picky! You don’t know someone just from a “hey” or the way they’re smiling with mates in a photo.
Below are Michael’s answers. He doesn’t talk as much as me but you know what they always say, opposites attract…
MICHAEL, 35
How long had you been on Bumble before you both met each other?
I’d only been on Bumble around three weeks. It wasn’t long until Anita caught my eye.
Is this your first Bumble relationship?
I had been on a date or two previously through the app, but this is my first Bumble relationship. I had been on another dating site previously.
How did being in isolation help the relationship progress?
It definitely gave us more time to talk and listen to each other. I think the time we put into getting to know each other in the early stages has put us in good stead for a really strong future. In a good way, it feels like we have known each other longer than three months.
What attracted you to each other’s profiles?
Anita’s profile had a really nice energy about it. She looked fun and genuine, like someone I wanted to get to know and know more about.
Oh, and I was definitely attracted to her.
How did you navigate taking the relationship offline?
Meeting in real life felt really organic. We had been talking for a while, including via video chat, and with the whole isolation thing going on, it felt normal to take it offline.
When it came time to meet, I was really looking forward to seeing her in person and I surprisingly had very little nerves. I was excited, but not nervous.
What tips do you have for others looking for love on Bumble?
Just swipe right as often as you can on people that you find interesting. Give yourself the best chance at meeting the right one for you.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Enjoy getting to know the person you’ve connected with and don’t be in a rush with the whole process. It’s supposed to be enjoyed.
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