Episode eight has now dropped and it sees the scene we all knew was coming, but dreaded nonetheless.
Miranda, clearly in a nonsensical sex haze after three weeks of non-stop transcendent orgasms courtesy of Che Diaz, has decided that she is going to pluck up the courage to finally tell her husband Steve, who more closely resembles Grandpa Simpson this season, that she wants out.
You see, after never really being that into Steve even when he had an 0 dB hearing score, Miranda has decided that sitting in a stunning Park Slope brownstone eating dessert with a man who has always put up with her shit and even ditched the smoking hot Debbie for her, is no longer good enough.
Next episode, I want Miranda to find Che in bed with a man, then return home to find Steve having dessert on the sofa with Debbie, who is still wearing acrylic nails and shoes. #AndJustLikeThat #ajlt pic.twitter.com/wkkg1uTUmN
— Rob Lander Brinkley (@Robin_PR) January 20, 2022
No, Miranda wants Che, despite the fact they didn’t respond to her message for three months and has made it clear via their podcast and to Miranda’s face that monogamy and tradition is not their thing. However, Miranda seems to have absorbed none of this information because, let’s face it, amazing sex does give you selective hearing and it has rendered Miranda almost as deaf as her soon-to-be ex-husband in this particular instance.
So, after informing the girls about her decision over some tasty lobster, a good session of teasing Charlotte for still giving Harry the occasional blow job (I thought Charlotte hated performing oral sex but, whatever, I guess people evolve) and checking with Che to make sure they feel the same way, Miranda is off to tell Steve that he’s been voted off the island…if he can even hear what she is saying.
when Miranda inevitably tells Steve about the affair with Che Diaz, he’s probably gonna go HUH?, get up, trip over himself, fart, shit his pants then fall out of a window #AndJustLikeThat
— laurence 💀 (@megasound8000) January 13, 2022
What follows is actually a very well-acted and thoughtfully written scene, even though we will never be okay with the way they have turned poor old Steve into a doddering fool who can neither find his wife at the farmer’s market nor her clitoris in the kitchen.
Steve gives a heart-wrenching monologue to Miranda about the fact that being married to her has been nothing short of a rollercoaster and that he thought they were finally in a good place where they could just relax without all the drama. “I’m too old to rally for us again”, he says, clearly exhausted.
It’s a poignant scene and one that really captures the disparity between two people who were perhaps improbably paired, to begin with. Steve has settled into what he calls “married life”, content in the mundanity of doing the same thing every day. It’s simple, it’s safe. It’s enough.
Not so for Miranda, who has realised, or perhaps finally admitted, that convention and routine are not what makes her tick and, having met Che, she needs to escape the world she has created for herself before it drowns her in a bowl of low-fat vanilla ice cream.
It seems inevitable that Miranda is heading for heartbreak with her ill-advised trip to Cleveland to surprise Che, for she is almost certainly going to find them with someone else and realise that “non-traditional” is probably not for her after all. And, if the Twittersphere has anything to say about this inevitable development, it’s “SERVES YOU RIGHT HOBBES!”
Behold, some of the best Tweets floating around about Steve and Miranda (and Che).
My eyes rolled so hard when Miranda said “Oh my God. I’m in a rom-com, Carrie”. 🙄
— 𝕽𝖔𝖓𝖈𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖔 (@roncisco) January 21, 2022
— Stingray (@Stingrayomega) January 20, 2022
— Keon J Steele (@KeonJsteele) January 20, 2022
Steve told Miranda about herself and said he is always there to rally for them but he can't this time I had so many tears for him. Miranda has dragged this man through hell for years.She is about to be crushed by Che and I can't wait. the downfall is coming #AndJustLikeThat pic.twitter.com/C60gRpWqkR
— Desi Sugarbaker (@CrxyBeAutiful) January 20, 2022
Before trying to win the love of your crush, be sure to crunch your wig in a Ziploc bag full of water for 8 hours, let it air dry, and then throw it into a litter box for couple of days to get that desirable "I'm a desperate homeless person" vibe. #Chambo #AndJustLikeThat pic.twitter.com/lxg1olBhcQ
— Miranda Hobbes' Cheap Wig (@HobbesWig) January 20, 2022
“…that’s married life.” 🥺
— Tatiana 💙 (@tatiana__xo) January 20, 2022
— Ana (@anmorales24) January 20, 2022
— Hermit TV Junkie (@HermitTVJunkie) January 20, 2022
miranda: "I'm in a rom-com, Carrie!"
— atif (@isthisghosting) January 20, 2022