Building valuable, healthy relationships are central to living a positive and productive life. Bumble has helped change the way we interact, breaking down old-fashioned power dynamics and encouraging women to make the first move. Over the next month, we’re celebrating love. We’ve partnered with Bumble to highlight interesting ways to start a conversation, how to find love in the digital age, how to cultivate intimacy as we emerge from isolation and more. Alongside our helpful and inspiring content, we’ll also share stories of ‘the one that got away’ — because sometimes it’s the love before that leads you to The One.
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Lockdown is coming to an end and we’re able to get out and about a little more which means its the perfect time to give your dating profile a once-over. We caught up with some veterans of the online dating scene to get their tips, advice, and experiences to help you take your swiping game to the next level. We asked how they’ve enjoyed using Bumble in the past, what they looked for or are looking for in a match, and what makes a profile stand out.
Jen, 28
“Personally I found dating apps really beneficial because I’m a nurse and I work in a very very female dominated area. I don’t have that office culture. I don’t have, you know, that means of just meeting people organically.”
“Features that I think are good for guys are photos where they’re smiling, and they’re happy and they’re laughing — I think that above anything else got me in.”
“I think selfies are a no-no. Big no! And I think a lot of girls will agree with me. I would say selfies are a no-no, also gym selfies like a shirtless in-the-mirror selfie, that’s a big no-no. I’m okay with a shirtless photo but it needs to be in a more natural looking setting.”
“If they were funny on the app, I loved it. If there’s humour in there, whether it’s sarcastic or satirical or whatever, it was that that drew me in. If you can make me laugh, that’s a big plus. Also the genuine ones are really nice. You know, honestly answering questions and stuff. Sports and activities are important to me as well. So if they were either into surfing or rock climbing or anything sort of outdoorsy I was very into that.”
“I hate anything cheeky. Anything that insinuates that they’re just there to fuck is not cool. If they say something like, ‘oh to find out more, just message me’ with a wink, shit like that, no.”
“But if you are there to fuck then do it, do the winky face, do the ‘slide into my DMs’ whatever, just do it. No one is going to pick you but whatever.”
“I would match with ten plus guys and probably end up messaging two or three. I would swipe right and then when we actually matched I would look into his profile more and comb through my matches and say ‘yeah, okay, I don’t know why I said yes to this one’.”
“If the conversation is flowing and we chat for a day I’d then say ‘alright, when are we going to see each other?’ and expect something pretty early on. If you talk and talk on the app for a week, it just dies out. You’re like ‘okay dude, you haven’t even asked me, do you want to see me in person?’ If you want to see that person, you make a move, you ask them on a date pretty early on.”
“Use it as a tool to just get back out there and meet people and not take it too seriously. I think that will take off so much of the pressure. How about you just make a move and say ‘hey, want to go for a drink?’ Like, ‘let’s just hang out, get out of the house’. Make it casual. I think more people are inclined to leave the house and go on dates more than ever.”
Toby, 26
“I’ve probably dated 5 girls through apps over the last year. I started using online dating when I moved over to Australia. I see dating apps as an option if I’m not getting dates from the traditional ways.”
“Put pictures up that show your interests and personality. For example if you like surfing then have a pic of you with a surfboard. If you like travelling and are an adventurous person then have a pic of you in such a destination. That will help people gauge what you might be like as a person and it means there might be more conversation points which is always good. Otherwise it can be like getting blood out of a stone.”
“Personalise your messages when you match with someone. It shows you’re interested in her and not just anyone. When I used Bumble I hated how girls would just say “Hey, how are you” 90% of the time.”
Stefanie, 32
“I have been on and off dating apps for… most of my adult life. Been on all the apps. I did date a guy for like a year who I met on an app. I know three women who have married men that they’ve found online!”
“Things that make good profiles: I think funny is number one. Pictures of people smiling. Men that have five pictures of them looking really serious and masculine, no good.”
“Some guys just have hot women draped around them. They’ll have three pictures of just really sexy, sexy women hanging off them. It’s like, ‘aw I’m glad you have female friends but…’ It kind of feels like you have to look a certain way to hang out with them.
“If you’ve only got two lines, boring. If you can’t even put effort into writing a paragraph, then are you going to put much effort into a date? The more effort they put in I think the better.”
“Don’t put a dead animal in your profile! Kurt [Stefanie’s partner] sent me his dating app profile after we had already met and I said if I saw this I wouldn’t have dated you. He’s got this giant dead fish that he’s holding. I’m vegan! And he’s really proud of it! I think subconsciously it’s meant to be like ‘I can provide for you, I’m the hunter gatherer’.”
“I think if you’re not after a serious relationship, you should write in your profile ‘just after some fun’, which heaps of guys write and I think you should write that if that’s what you want. Women are also looking for fun as well so just say it in your profile.”
Jack, 26
“What I do, is ask my girl friends what they think of my profile. I’d send them my thing or if they’re on it as well and they stumble upon me, I’d be like, ‘oh, what do you think of this?’ ‘Should I change this or this?’”
“I think the main thing is just to keep it current. You don’t want pictures in there from when you’re 18 if you’re 26 because it just doesn’t resemble who you are now.”
“There was a time where we all thought a picture of us with a group of eight of our mates in a nightclub was like a cool thing to do. In reality people don’t want to see that.”
“A good thing that they’ve done with Bumble now is give you conversation prompts. Obviously you have your pictures but then it’ll say like ‘my most irrational fear’. They sound stupid but people put funny answers which then at least gives you a conversation starter.”
“For example, mine says my most rational fear is walking over three drains and the amount of people who have commented on it like ‘oh yeah, me too’, ‘I thought it was just me’ and then you can kind of go from there. You can match 10 girls a day if you want to. But if you can’t think of anything to say then you’re just not gonna get anywhere.”
“When you’re trying to start a conversation, be original. Every girl that you’ve matched with is matched with 20 other guys who are in the same position as you waiting to start a conversation. And of those 20 guys, 10 of them are just going to say ‘hey’. Don’t do what every other guy does.”
“I always get a bit self-conscious as to what they’re going to think of me depending on what I say. I probably did play it a bit safe to begin with but then I thought, if this goes wrong, I’m never going to meet this person.”
Caragh, 25
Met her partner on a dating app.
“He had a photo of himself in the snow and I was like ‘oh he skis! That’s fun’. Which was a lie! To be fair, he wasn’t skiing in the profile pic he was just at the snow. But he was quite far from the camera and he was wearing a big jacket so I was like ‘oh, he must ski’. Nope. I think it came up pretty quickly. He went on a ski mobile in jeans! I was like ‘oh this boy, not only does he not ski, he doesn’t even know the concept of snow’.”
“We pre-dated. We had coffee that turned into lunch. It was a pre-date coffee which was easy to bail on. So you can be like ‘oh, thanks for the coffee’, you’re not locked into a full meal. Drinks often turns into dinner so coffee is safe. And cheaper. And it’s easy for it to turn into lunch. Or like a drink on either side. Whether it’s in the morning or the afternoon. I think particularly as a woman, because it doesn’t imply sex.”
Toby, 30
“I think any app that can change your life in terms of helping you find love is pretty powerful.”
“I would say that I’ve had success on them. Obviously some failures in there as well, but definitely I’ve had some like amazing nights from the app which wouldn’t have happened otherwise.”
“My profile is like, I mean, what I set out for it to be is a mixture of personality. Don’t look like a boring motherf*cker. There’s one or two pictures in there which are like thirst traps. Some are showing what I’m into. There’s one which involves surfing and one which involves DJing and those are probably my two biggest passions at the moment.”
“I think it’s really important to have some text in there, even just a couple of words. It makes an impression. If I go to someone’s profile and their bio or their chat is awful then straight away I’m like ‘no’.”
“Match with people you actually want to catch up with. I think that I’ve reduced the amount of time I’m on there by just not matching with people I couldn’t see myself ever getting along with.”
“Tips for other guys: just show some actual personality in the profile not just your body. Also like no weird fishing photos, and I think like one or two funny pics is always a good move as well — shows that you’re not narcissistic.”