The Best Movie Performances of 2023, But There’s a Horse Girl Catch

Horse movies 2023

As 2023 comes to a close, every cinephile, every Letterbox junkie, every boomer on Facebook is listing the best performances of the year. Which makes sense, right? Margot Robbie was perfect in Barbie, and Ayo Edebiri killed it in Bottoms. A lot of humans did incredible work in the realm of cinema. 

However, most of these lists only commemorate people. Which is a shame, as a whack of animals worked super hard on these films too. For instance, a lot of horses shined on 2023’s movie screens. 

So, to honour the steeds and stallions that made cinema great this year, here’s a list of some of our favourite horsey performances. You’re welcome.

The Horses of Oppenheimer

The horse in Oppenheimer
Universal Pictures

During Oppenheimer, two horses race Kitty Oppenheimer, as played by Emily Blunt, and Robert Oppenheimer, as played by Cillian Murphy, across the Los Alamos desert. According to Murphy, these horses went wicked fast. Much faster than the horses he rode on Peaky Blinders.

In fact, from Murphy’s perspective, his horse went so fast that he couldn’t ride it with pose. However, he also thought that this worked to the film’s benefit. 

“Brilliant thing is that, in the story, Kitty was fantastic at horseback, apparently better than Robert, so it worked,” Murphy said. “Emily was so graceful and elegant, and I was less so.”

Therefore, the horses of Oppenheimer score The Latch’s Golden Hoof Award.

The Horse in Peter Pan & Wendy

The horse in Peter Pan & Wendy

Peter Pan & Wendy is a piece of cinema that dives head first into the backstory of Captain Hook. However, more importantly, it stars a beautiful white steed.

In this horse’s titular scene, it looks directly into the camera, a move that most actors are too afraid to make. By breaking the fourth wall, what is this horse trying to say? Does it want carrots? Does it want a pat on the head? The answer to these questions remain a mystery. 

This horse scores an A+.

The Horse in Indiana Jones and The Dial Of Destiny

The Horse in Indiana Jones and The Dial Of Destiny

For the last 42 years, Indiana Jones has been riding horses. He rode in 1981’s Raiders of the Lost Ark, and he rode in 1989’s Last Crusade. To honour this tradition, horse riding makes a return in 2023’s Dial Of Destiny.

Near the beginning of this movie, Jones is living in New York and gets captured by Nazis. However, he quickly escapes their foul clutches, steals a police horse, and rides into the city’s subway tunnels. What follows is an impeccable action scene.

According to Kevin Fallon of The Daily Beast, this horse vignette was the peak of this two-hour movie.

As Fallon stated, “Jones and said horse gallop through the tunnels, evading multiple trains that would surely hit and kill anyone… The whole sequence is thrilling and yet hilarious. It ends perfectly, with Jones tossing off a grumpy one-liner. I don’t ever endorse going to see a movie of this length, but, for this scene, it is worth it.”

This piece of cinema wouldn’t have been possible if not for a noble horsey. Therefore, The Dial Of Destiny’s horse scores five golden stars.

The Horses in Creation of the Gods I: Kingdom Of Storms

The horses in Creation of the Gods I: Kingdom Of Storms
Huaxia Film Distribution

Creation of the Gods I is a Chinese fantasy film that recreates the prolonged mythical wars between humans, immortals, and monsters. It’s also a film that stars a bunch of horses wearing fashionable armour.

We stan all the horses wearing feathers in their manes. We stan all the horses wearing silver chains around their necks. These horses score The Latch’s Most Stylish Creatures Award.

The Horse in Heart of a Champion

The horse in The Heart of a Champion
Charlie’s Horse

The Heart of a Champion features a classic tale, a story that’s ingrained as the Iliad. It’s about a girl who’s dropped off at her estranged father’s apple farm and slowly becomes friends with a horse.

In this movie, the horse steals every scene. It was designed in a laboratory to be a poster on a horse girlie’s wall. This beast scores no points, it transcends the divine.

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