The world might be a socially distant place right now, but people have far from disconnected with one another. In fact, online dating apps have seen a drastic increase in activity from users, while sex toy sales have skyrocketed around the world (what else is there to do?).
Though we can’t go out on physical dates, there’s plenty of evidence to suggest now may be the ideal, or even perfect time to find a real connection. For all aspects of our lives, this is a time to pause, a time to reflect, and a time to work out what it is we deem genuinely important to us. And these thought processes absolutely can be applied to the way we date, as Australian dating coach, Mark Rosenfeld, explains.
“The truth is, the magical chemistry we feel in someone’s presence isn’t always a sign that person is good for us. When dating in isolation, you have a better opportunity to sit back, connect, and really take note of the people who want to dive deeper in getting to know you, versus those who may be using romance as a pleasurable distraction from their problems.”
“There’s never been a better time to switch on your intuition and let it do its job.”
With more time on our hands, many of us are looking inwards and better understanding our needs as humans, plus the types of connections we value from others around.
“Isolation gives all us a chance to stop and reflect. Reflect on what you’ve chosen in the past (and why), and what you want to choose in the future,” he says. “Second, it gives you a chance to date, and actually check-in for the traits you find most desirable, without the rose-coloured glasses of in-person chemistry leading you off track.”
If you’re guilty of making repeat dating mistakes and constantly going after people you know are wrong for you (this is apparently called Fleabagging, in case you were wondering), then isolation may give you a clearer indication of others’ intentions or things you may typically look over when dating in person.
“The ‘hot and cold’ date that was so great in person but distant over message is now just plain distant (or inconsistent). Without the distraction of sex and hook-ups, those who have ulterior motives will lack persistence and sink, while the cream rises to the top.
“The person who really wants to connect will demonstrate it through their consistency in getting to know you.”
“Right now, you’re able to see more clearly than ever the people who really want to put in the time, go deep, and connect, versus those who want surface-level interactions.”
Of course, dating is meant to be fun and enjoyable. So while dating online in isolation, remember that not every conversation needs to be about your five-year plan, desired number of kids, and relationship history.
“People are attracted firstly by the experience of being with another person (even over video!), so if you’re finding all your conversations turn serious, then look for a way to relax the chat.
“Talk about a new hobby you’re excited for. Share some achievements you’re proud of. Talk about a learning opportunity or walk to your favourite place and share it with your date.”
Run out of FaceTime material? Try asking our 50 meaningful questions to spark fun and interesting conversations.