We Put ChatGPT to the Test to See If It Understands Human Behaviour

February 16, 2023

The best thing about ChatGPT isn’t the fact that it can answer your questions with the finesse of a WikiHow article. No, the best thing about ChatGPT advice is that it’s completely sincere.

ChatGPT’s sincerity is great for two reasons because:

When you ask this chatbot an absurd question, you can honestly gauge what it knows and doesn’t know about the nature of reality.
When you ask this chatbot an absurd question, you can sometimes score a hearty chuckle because of its candid and earnest response.

So, with this in mind, let’s ask ChatGPT an absurd question, go through the unedited answer it gives, and then review its buckwild answer. Because, my chums, it’s time for some ChatGPT advice.

How to Propose While Getting Dental Work in 10 Steps or Less

ChatGPT’s Advice

“Here are ten steps to propose while getting dental work:

Choose a dental office with a comfortable atmosphere: Find a dental office that has a calm and relaxing atmosphere so that you can feel comfortable while proposing.
Plan ahead: Schedule the dental appointment ahead of time, so you have time to plan the proposal and choose the perfect moment.
Choose the right moment: Choose a moment during the dental appointment when you are both relaxed and comfortable, such as after the cleaning or during a break in the procedure.
Bring a ring: Make sure you have the engagement ring with you, so you can propose on the spot.
Prepare a speech: Write a heartfelt speech that explains why you love your partner and why you want to spend the rest of your life with them.
Communicate with the dental staff: Let the dental staff know that you are planning to propose and ask if they can help create a special moment. They may be able to turn down the lights or play romantic music to set the mood.
Get down on one knee: Get down on one knee and take your partner’s hand. Look into their eyes and express your love and commitment.
Present the ring: Present the ring and ask the question, “Will you marry me?”
Wait for the answer: Wait patiently for your partner’s response. Remember, this is a special moment that they will remember forever.
Celebrate: Regardless of the answer, celebrate the moment and the love you share with your partner. Enjoy the rest of your dental appointment and the rest of your life together.”

A Review of This ChatGPT Advice

First of all, I love the fact that ChatGPT thinks that it would be a wise move to propose mid-procedure. Because nothing screams romance quite like having a half numb face.

Secondly, I adore the detail of a dentist’s office making the lighting sensual and romantic. I will now demand this happens each and every time I now get my teeth cleaned.

However, as enjoyable as this advice is, I don’t think anyone would be able to pull this ChatGPT advice off. Well, maybe Ryan Gosling could, but that doesn’t count. All it would result in is some broken hearts and maybe some scrumptious TikToks.

I therefore give this ChatGPT advice a 4/10.

How to Tell Your Boyfriend That You Want to Bring an Animatronic Stegosaurus Into the Relationship in 10 Steps or Less

ChatGPT’s Advice

“Here is one way to approach this conversation in ten steps or less:

Choose a good time to talk: Make sure you’re both relaxed and in a comfortable setting.
Start with a positive statement: Begin by expressing how much you enjoy your relationship and appreciate your boyfriend.
Introduce the topic: Tell him that you have something you want to discuss with him that might be a little unusual.
Explain your interest: Explain why you’re interested in having an animatronic stegosaurus as part of your relationship. Perhaps you think it would be fun, or you find them fascinating.
Ask for his thoughts: Ask your boyfriend how he feels about the idea and if he has any concerns or questions.
Address any concerns: If your boyfriend has concerns, take them seriously and try to address them. For example, you could discuss how the stegosaurus would fit into your home, or how it would impact your daily routine.
Explain the benefits: Emphasize the positive aspects of having an animatronic stegosaurus in your relationship. For example, you could talk about how it could bring you both joy and create fun new experiences.
Ask for his support: Ask your boyfriend if he is willing to support your interest and work together to make it a reality.
Be open to compromise: If your boyfriend is not completely on board with the idea, be open to finding a compromise that works for both of you. For example, you could agree to only have the stegosaurus for a limited time or in specific circumstances.
Express gratitude: Regardless of the outcome of the conversation, be sure to express your gratitude for your boyfriend and the love and support he provides.

Remember to be patient and understanding throughout the conversation. It’s important to have open and honest communication in any relationship.”

A Review of This ChatGPT Advice

Okay folks, let’s start off by saying that I’m not here to yuck your yums. If you genuinely want to date both a boy and an animatronic stegosaurus, you reach for the stars, my pal.

Sure, doing this would be buckwild and absurd. But isn’t that what love’s all about?

Additionally, I think that ChatGPT’s recommendations here are spot on. Honest communication is key, truly listening to your partner is key, and supporting each other is key. You could replace the phrase “animatronic stegosaurus” with any number of nouns and this advice would still be golden.

I therefore give this ChatGPT advice a 9/10.

How to Make a Speech at a Funeral While Dressed Like a Ghost in 10 Steps or Less

ChatGPT’s Advice

“Here are ten steps to help you make a speech at a funeral while dressed as a ghost:

Start with a simple, heartfelt greeting to acknowledge the attendees.
Take a moment to reflect on the life of the person who has passed away and express your condolences to the bereaved.
Share personal anecdotes or memories of the deceased, if appropriate.
Keep your tone respectful and avoid making any jokes or lighthearted comments.
Speak clearly and loudly so everyone can hear you, even though you’re dressed as a ghost.
Use gestures and facial expressions to convey your emotions, as this will help keep the audience engaged.
Read a poem or quote that you think would be appropriate for the occasion.
Offer words of comfort and support to the family and friends of the deceased.
Close your speech with a heartfelt message, wishing the person peace and rest.
End with a final goodbye, bow, and walk away quietly, giving the audience time to reflect on your words.

Remember, the most important thing is to be respectful and sincere, even while dressed as a ghost.”

A Review of This ChatGPT Advice

Now, I’m going to give ChatGPT some points and respect here, for even answering this question in the first place. At this stage in my life, I’ve asked ChatGPT a lot of questions that it’s claimed are unethical to answer. So the fact that ChatGPT thinks this is a fine move, well, it makes this chatbot a baller.

Moreover, I’m impressed that it recommended wearing a ghost costume that allows for “gestures and facial expressions.” This means that we’re going with a classic white face paint, rather than covering ourselves with an old doona cover. You can’t help but respect the effort. It is a funeral, after all.

However, this advice is bound to fail. Not because you’re dressed as a ghost. Oh no, it’s because ChatGPT suggests at the end that you bow towards the audience, not the coffin.

My pals, I’ve attended too many funerals for my age, and I have never had someone bow at the end of the speech. Is this just a “me” thing? Am I the odd one here? Is Wagga Wagga the only place where funeral bows are forbidden?

Additionally, if ChatGPT was wanting us to bow towards the coffin, it should have been more explicit. I therefore give this ChatGPT advice a 6/10.

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