The Big Pineapple. The Big Lobster. The Big Merino. Back in the day, Australia was consistently making big things.
Yet, as the years have gone by, Australia has made less and less giant, tacky roadside attractions. Which is a shame. ‘Cause when I’m on a road trip, they make for better pit stops than soulless servos.
That’s why I’m demanding that Australia constructs a few more big things. Additionally, I have some tip-top ideas that should be forged into reality.
So, if you’re a billionaire who wants to irresponsibly blow some cash, I’m here for you. Here’s a list of big things that should be built in Australia.
The Big Chungus
Now, while I like most of the big things in Australia, not many of them are very dank. Which, to be honest, is a missed business opportunity. Australia’s gremlins would travel far and wide for the sake of lesser memes.
This brings us to the Big Chungus, an iconic and fat version of Bugs Bunny. The Big Chungus symbolises dreams, the absurdity of consumerism, and the power of internet culture. This Bugs Bunny is a wonder to behold.
If Warner Brothers made a Big Chungus statue anywhere in Australia, the meme-lords would flock there. They could transform the middle of South Australia into an actual pile of gold.
The Big Solar Panel
The jig is up. Coal is over. Gas is in its flop era. Not only are these sources of power killing our planet, they’re also super expensive.
If we’re going to embrace renewable energy, why not do it in a fun and flirty way? Why not make the biggest solar panel of all time in the middle of one of our deserts?
You could sell tours. You could sell T-shirts. You can get our kids excited by a neverending ocean of mirrors. The revenue and education you could do here would be off the charts.
The Big Solar Panel. Someone should really fund this project. ‘Cause truthfully, it’s a whack more marketable than big coal.
The Big Vegemite
In 2023, Australia is celebrating 100 years of Vegemite existing. And we’re doing so with the release of some special $1.00 and $2.00 coins.
These coins are super cute, yes, but they’re not nearly big enough. Vegemite, you have tricked a whole country into enjoying black salty goo. You have pulled this off for 100 literal years. And that’s genuinely so impressive. You folks can surely do better than coins.
As it stands, Vegemite is currently owned by the Bega Group. It’s my now sincere wish that they build a big Vegemite statue in their backyard. For such a behemoth would be worth a road trip or two.