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A Beginner’s Guide to Pegging — With the Help of Sex Experts

beginners guide to pegging

As if watching television sex scenes with your parents isn’t cringe enough, sometimes you find yourself having to explain certain acts that are perhaps unfamiliar to them. That’s the position I found myself in recently while watching an episode of The Bold Type entitled ‘To Peg or Not To Peg.’

The Bold Type isn’t the first show to feature an on-screen storyline about pegging – a season two episode of Broad City explored the sexual act and the events of the episode ended up becoming a running theme in the show.

Psycho-sexologist and Lovehoney ambassador, Chantelle Otten, says that although some media depictions can portray the act as comical, scary or demeaning, “Pegging is a powerful erotic act”.

Safe to say, pegging has… penetrated the mainstream. Being as it involves anal play – a sensitive area that requires certain cares – The Latch is here to provide you with an in-depth, beginner’s guide to pegging, straight from the sex experts.

What is pegging?

“Pegging is a term used when a vulva owner uses a strap-on harness and dildo to anally penetrate someone with a penis,” says Otten.

It’s specifically used in penis/vulva dynamic, according to Otten: “If someone with a vulva or a penis is penetrating someone else with a vulva using a strap-on, then this is known as strap-on sex.”

Why is pegging becoming more popular?

“We’re becoming more open sexually, and willing to try things that have previously been taboo or off-limits,” says Isiah McKimmie, couples therapist, sexologist and coach.

Sex therapist Lauren Muratore agrees, adding: “Pegging can be a great experience for a couple, and open up new pleasures to a sexual repertoire”.

Otten believes pegging is “an experience that wears many hats,” citing power play, role reversal and intimacy as reasons people are interested in it.

What enjoyment is gained from pegging?

Simply put, pegging “brings pleasure”, says Otten. Further to this, McKimmie says that due to the high number of nerve endings in the anus, “We can actually reach orgasm from anal stimulation”.

More specifically, it’s a different experience of pleasure than penile stimulation. “Men may enjoy the stimulation it creates on the prostrate gland (P Spot), and orgasms from P Spot stimulation can be more intense and can occur without ejaculation,” meaning people with penis’ can have multiple orgasms,” says Otten.

As for the enjoyment of the vulva owners doing the pegging? “Enjoyment may come through clitoral or internal stimulation using a strapless strap on or a toy with an added bullet or bunny ears.”

How to approach my partner about pegging?

Like with any sexual situation, communication and consent are the most important things.

McKimmie says it’s important, in any relationship, to build a culture of open sexual communication. “When you’re raising particular suggestions, emphasise wanting to make things more fun and enjoyable for both of you – rather than suggesting anything is wrong.”

Understanding that some people may feel uncomfortable with anal play is important. “Unfortunately, some men still adhere to gender norms that judge men for being anally penetrated. When suggesting it to a partner, be aware of this,” says McKimmie.

Otten suggests you start by explaining what pegging is (you can show them this guide!), then asking them how they feel about it. “They may be open to the idea, or they may need some time to consider whether it’s something they’re interested in trying, or they may not be into it at all. And that’s completely normal – respect their decision.

A step-by-step guide to pegging

So you’ve both consented to pegging — what now? Here’s a step-by-step guide to the sexual act of pegging itself.

Make sure you’ve purchased the necessary equipment

First things first, you’re going to want to get a good anal lube. An essential, according to Otten, who recommends water-based lubricants as they can be used with toys and condoms.

Anal douching is another consideration beforehand, says Muratore, to make the experience more comfortable. Otten says anal douches are incredibly useful in terms of hygiene, and that toys should also be kept clean and hygienic – so keep a sex toy cleaner on hand.

If you’re new to anal play, it’s best to start with a smaller strap-on dildo, according to Otten, or even a small vibrator, says Muratore. Otten suggests the Tracey Cox Supersex Strap-On Pegging Kit, as it’s the “perfect beginners’ pegging kit”.

Also, like all kinds of sex, it can get messy. If you’re concerned, you can lay a towel down.

Start small

Anal foreplay is the best way to ease into pegging. “Rimming is a good idea pre-penetration,” says Muratore.

After this, Otten suggests “exploring the area with a lubed-up finger, stroking and teasing before insertion”. Moving onto a small vibrator with lube would be the next step, according to Muratore.

Anal training is another option, with Otten recommending an anal training kit, with three different sized plugs, to be used in preparation.

Strapping on

“Once things are comfortable and feeling good, it’ll be more pleasurable to ease into the strap on,” says Muratore.

Position-wise, you should find one “that works and is comfortable for you,” says Otten. “Start off slowly, and allow your partner to control depth and speed to start with.”

“Don’t forget communication during this process,” instructs Muratore, suggesting questions like asking them how it feels, would they like more lube, would they like to try deeper or faster. “Checking in each step of the way should make the receiver more comfortable.”

Oh, and don’t forget to focus on the penis. “Stimulating the penis whilst being pegged can also be enjoyable for many.”

Pegging aftercare

It’s highly beneficial to check in with your partner after, according to Muratore, to see how the experience was. “How did everyone enjoy it, were there parts to the experience that could have been better, ideas to try for next time?

“A debrief can help both people feel more confident moving forward, and can hopefully help create more trust and passion in your sex life.”

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