Building valuable, healthy relationships are central to living a positive and productive life. Bumble has helped change the way we interact, breaking down old-fashioned power dynamics and encouraging women to make the first move. Over the next month, we’re celebrating love. We’ve partnered with Bumble to highlight interesting ways to start a conversation, how to find love in the digital age, how to cultivate intimacy as we emerge from isolation and more. Alongside our helpful and inspiring content, we’ll also share stories of ‘the one that got away’ — because sometimes it’s the love before that leads you to The One.
“How you doin'” may have worked for Friends‘ Joey Tribbiani, but should probably be left in the ’90s when it comes to opening lines in the modern dating world.
Opening lines oftentimes equal first impressions, and everyone knows these count when it comes to establishing an initial attraction. In person, a lacklustre opening line can be somewhat forgiven if a physical connection is there, but online? Well, there may be less room for error.
And since meeting someone through online dating platforms like Bumble is becoming far more common (and successful!), it’s well worth your time to think that opening line through.
On Bumble, it’s women who make the first move, always. Bumble is rewriting traditional dating ‘rules’ and are handing the power over to the ladies in a move that both makes them feel safe and empowered in starting a conversation with a match.
“Your opening line on Bumble is crucial,” McCart says. “It sets the tone for the conversation with your match, so it is time to get comfortable with making the first move, ladies.
“But this doesn’t mean that guys on Bumble don’t have to put in the work – how you respond to an opening line is just as important in ensuring the chat goes smoothly enough to lead to a date (IRL or virtual).”
Here are five interesting ways to start a conversation on Bumble.
1. With a joke
If humour comes naturally to you, and you consider yourself to be a funny person, then why not try on an opening line that shows off these qualities? Show your playful side with a funny quip, Dad joke, or even a knock-knock joke. It’s less about proving yourself to be a Seinfield prodigy, and a lot more about establishing cut-through in a crowd and showing that you too love to laugh.
2. With common ground
Did you spot some common interests in their profile? Perhaps the fact you both have a pet, love to play tennis, or have both visited New York? Lead with that! Make it clear that you’ve taken the time to look through their profile (they took the time to set it up after all), before asking their pet’s name, who their favourite tennis player is, or whether they ate at the same restaurant as you in NYC.
“If they have said in their bio that they are a huge fan of a TV show that you also love, talk about that. If they have pictures of them on a hike and you love hiking, talk about that. Find where you think you might have common ground and start there (guys, this is a hint to make sure that you have an amazing profile!),” says McCart.
3. With sincerity
The opening line is important, but you mustn’t place undue pressure on yourself to be witty, hilarious or flirty. If you’re stuck for what to say, might we suggest approaching the match with a sincere introduction, similar to one you’d give in person? A “Hey, how is your day going?” is better than saying nothing at all and letting a great match pass you by.
“The first couple of times you put forward an opening line, you might freak out and spend hours analysing what to say, and worrying you’ll come off too strong or not be funny. But you have to just give it a go,” says McCart.
“The more you make your move, the less pressure you put on yourself as you’ll find your groove. I think it’s always helpful to remember that every guy that is on Bumble signed up knowing that women have to make the first move — so why be shy?”
4. With a question
A question is your secret weapon when it comes to kicking off an ongoing dialogue with a match. “Questions are for sure one of the best ways to kick start a conversation — they show you have taken an interest in the person, and in most cases will generate a good back-and-forth as your match will usually want to fire the question back at you,” McCart says.
Questions on Bumble have been found so effective that the app recently introduced a new product feature called the Question Game, that makes firing thought-provoking questions to a match even easier.
“You can select a question to send to your match, or create your own, but you have to provide your own answer as well. It’s only once you’ve both responded that the answers are revealed. You can even use this as your first move, which is a great way to get into a good chat right away.”
5. With a pick-up line
We take it all back. Forget what we said about Joey Tribbiani and his “How you doin’?” line, because McCart says pick-up lines actually do have a place in the modern dating world.
“In my opinion, dating apps have breathed new life into the pick-up line,” she says. “My favourite thing about app dating is the fact both parties have to put effort into the conversation in order for it to go anywhere.
“This need for quality conversation has never been more evident than in the last few months. Our most recent research found that 86% of Australian users are interested in dating in real life again, however, there is movement towards ‘slow dating’.
“The new data shows that the way we date is set to change as we emerge from lockdown — users want to slow it down and get to know their matches on a deeper and more personal level, with virtual dating potentially used in partnership with IRL dating. And it all starts with your opening line!”
As for the type of pick-up lines you should consider? Rule out anything crass or distasteful, and take it back to basics. “We find that the ‘cheesy’ pick up lines often get the most responses as they get the attention of your match.”
You may not get it right the first time, and it’s likely that some of your opening lines, no matter how much thought you’d put into them, won’t be responded to. But with 95 million Bumble users around the world, the odds are totally in your favour to find someone just right for you (take it from one of our editors, who found their perfect match on Bumble in iso!).
First impressions count, and your opening line is just one part of the first impressions process on Bumble. Profile photos, your bio, badges; it’s all part of building a true online presence that will make someone swipe on you for who you really are.