Welcome to Out of Office — a travel column from Contributing Editor Katie Skelly. Visiting unique destinations that are doing things differently around the world, Skelly will be reviewing her experiences according to a more unconventional grading system (not just stars!). Next up, the experience of solo dining on vacation, and everything that comes with it.
I’m a convert now, having just taken my first-ever solo holiday at 31. But let me tell you, when it occurred to me that I’d have to (gasp) be with my thoughts at times while travelling alone — not always able to run my mouth at my travel companion — I felt confronted. A little spooked even. And especially at the thought of mealtimes.
And then something amazing happened. Dining alone during the trip became one of the most challenging, enjoyable and rewarding parts. For the week I made my way across England, I spent almost every meal in my own company. I wanted to feel immersed (truth: my phone battery was on the fritz) and so I didn’t bring a book and generally tried to leave my phone in my bag.
There was a learning curve but I surprised myself. I began to notice things — things I wouldn’t usually notice. I became comfortable, even assured in my own presence, and I actually started to look forward to my opportunities to dine alone. But a few thoughts continuously came up for me as I sat there; not all of them so pleasant.
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So on one particular evening over a nice meal at The Pearly Cow in York, I decided to take note of the 5 thoughts that kept cropping up. Should a solo trip be on your 2025 bingo card, I suggest you prepare to navigate these too.
1. “There is literally nowhere I can look that isn’t awkward”
Where do the eyes rest when they’re not resting on the person in the seat opposite to you? Most likely the other diners in the restaurant. Well, it turns out people don’t really like being stared at by strangers while they’re trying to eat. Who knew?!
After a few moments of confronting eye contact with unsuspecting patrons on dates, you’re going to have to work harder for visual stimuli. While sitting alone, I would allow my eyes to rest on the varied prints and paintings in the dining rooms, the pendant lights made of white tablecloths that rippled with new arrivals and icy gusts of air, the ornate engravings atop the salt and pepper grinders.
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They’re beautiful details I never would have noticed had I had company. And while you may feel silly looking up at the ceiling, generally everyone finds it more palatable than you staring at them.
2. “This tastes amazing”
When was the last time you felt truly present with your food? Like, zero distractions – just you and the plate in front of you? When solo dining, you’ll not only feel relieved when your meal arrives because you’ll finally have something to do with your hands, but you’ll also find the experience to be all-encompassing in the senses department.
Fine dining alone at The Pearly Cow, I found my tastebuds alive and able to distinguish the smaller differences between the two oysters on the menu (one with merlot vinegar and shallot, another with a Granny Smith apple and lime granita). I was more aware of temperature, texture, and aroma as I made my way through delicious three courses, and I noted how the wine developed as the temperature became warmer in the dining room as more and more diners took their seats.
3. “Oh, but that looks good too”
With no opportunity to share, you’ll inevitably get to taste less. You’ve got to be strategic with the menu, which is why I recommend going for more of the starters or snack plates and asking politely for half-serves of sides to accompany a main dish (not all restaurants will do this, but some might oblige).
If, like me, you’re really into food, then you’re going to want to limit your chances of making a regretful menu choice. So before selecting a restaurant or even sitting down to peruse the menu, get familiar with the reviews. Bonus points for going beyond Google Reviews to check Reddit. The good stuff is buried deep in threads.
4. “I’ll Google it later”
Giving devoted airtime to your thoughts means you’ll find they wander to some really niche, far-reaching corners of the world. And what do we do these days when we have a curiosity or question? We Google it.
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Unfortunately doing so breaks the no-phone rule, and will more than likely lead to you scrolling the feed or texting a friend. That’s fine, but once you take yourself out of the moment and into your phone, you’ll also lose all of the above. I recommend trying to table your curiosities for later, and staying firmly in the now.
5. “I’m fine, y’all”
As a society, it really does feel like we’re becoming more accepting of solo self-care (which I categorise fine dining solo into). But still, I almost always felt I was the subject of some type of projection at times. Whether it was a group of diners on a nearby table theorising in hushed tones about why I was alone, or a consoling look from a lady across the room who’d assumed I’d been stood up (I’m fine, babes).
Generally, though, most people didn’t bat an eyelid and after my first few meals alone, I realised I was all the company I needed.
Related: A Guide to Sydney’s Newest Food and Drink Precincts
Related: How Restaurant Menus Are Getting You to Spend More
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